 Friday, January 26, 2007
 at 2:06 AMFreaking stressed up!wat do u expect from me? I know i disappoint u. All of u. Im a bad example. Who asked u to follow? U know wat? I hate being the eldest. Sux! forever blaming me. im forever wrong. I hate my lyf. its better living without anyone i know.Wont disappoint no one. Those words are so demoralizing. Though its not new to me. And i am demoralized. These are the 2 who play a major part in my lyf. My minds gonna burst any tym. (maybe im exaggerating it.but i dun know how to describe wat im really feeling ryt now) Where realli did i go wrong? I know im bad. Never a good example for my siblings. I cant afford to make mistakes in lyf. But if my siblings make mistakes??? I really carry a heavy responsibilty w 3 younger siblings under me. I know im not a 'modal sister' . Watever. I dont get the encouragement i need. When i met success, its not being appreciated or recognized. I dont get the support or 'Good job. Im proud of u or keep it up' . Look doesnt mean im the eldest and oldest among the 4, i dont need ur morale support. Im dying of one! From young, i can hardly remember any. So dont blame me for turning to others. Putting ur faith & high hopes on the others. Fine. I dun mind. All along i got only demoralizing remarks than one that is encouraging. Thats y im easily affected by demoralizing or negative remarks by any1. Bringing my self confidence level much lower. im badly in need of counselling. I've always tot of it since last tym. Or i can go straight to imh. I really have a confused mind n never seem to get things ryt. Always talking crap. I really feel dat im so much different from ppl out there. Guess im really insane. I really need a guidance. A proper guidance. Encouragement. To move on with my lyf. I ve lost my sense of direction long before. I badly want to go back to class. Learn everything back again. Guide me thru my lyf. Im so damn lost.
+When all else fails, I turn to you+ |
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at 2:06 AM