 Friday, January 26, 2007
 at 2:06 AMFreaking stressed up!wat do u expect from me? I know i disappoint u. All of u. Im a bad example. Who asked u to follow? U know wat? I hate being the eldest. Sux! forever blaming me. im forever wrong. I hate my lyf. its better living without anyone i know.Wont disappoint no one. Those words are so demoralizing. Though its not new to me. And i am demoralized. These are the 2 who play a major part in my lyf. My minds gonna burst any tym. (maybe im exaggerating it.but i dun know how to describe wat im really feeling ryt now) Where realli did i go wrong? I know im bad. Never a good example for my siblings. I cant afford to make mistakes in lyf. But if my siblings make mistakes??? I really carry a heavy responsibilty w 3 younger siblings under me. I know im not a 'modal sister' . Watever. I dont get the encouragement i need. When i met success, its not being appreciated or recognized. I dont get the support or 'Good job. Im proud of u or keep it up' . Look doesnt mean im the eldest and oldest among the 4, i dont need ur morale support. Im dying of one! From young, i can hardly remember any. So dont blame me for turning to others. Putting ur faith & high hopes on the others. Fine. I dun mind. All along i got only demoralizing remarks than one that is encouraging. Thats y im easily affected by demoralizing or negative remarks by any1. Bringing my self confidence level much lower. im badly in need of counselling. I've always tot of it since last tym. Or i can go straight to imh. I really have a confused mind n never seem to get things ryt. Always talking crap. I really feel dat im so much different from ppl out there. Guess im really insane. I really need a guidance. A proper guidance. Encouragement. To move on with my lyf. I ve lost my sense of direction long before. I badly want to go back to class. Learn everything back again. Guide me thru my lyf. Im so damn lost.
+When all else fails, I turn to you+ Sunday, January 21, 2007
at 12:23 AMI never had the interest to read on my horoscope. Even if i do read, is just for the sake of reading only if i came across it. I dont rili believe in all this actually. But i read one about 'Your Month' from deen's blog. I found some of it about myself quite the same. But the one on him was mostly very true! It was kinda exciting to find them to be alot the similar! But of course some are not true. Check it out urself from Deens' blog. -------- Im so pissed. My hp got such a visible scratch on the screen! The screen protector had peeled off only on the 2nd day. So heart pain. I had wanted to get a pouch or sumting to protect it but kept delaying till now. Really should have bought. And guess wat? My sister had once kicked the upper piece when i was smsing. & it became slightly loose. And it was less than a week i got it!!! Bingit siotz! The previous phone Siemens, also shes de 1st one to drop it hard on the floor when i just begin to use it. So pissed. And in both situation, dia buat muke sardin,muke sotong, macam tkde pape jadi,muka tk bersala.n NO SORRY! Tak bingit?!! Bingit siak!Eee..Geram macam nk sepak trajang muke dia. Erm in short, i said she acted nuting happen, n i felt lyk giving her one kick. . . . Oh ya today my mum cooked ikan pari bakar! (stingray fish bbq) When its ready, my dad was the first to eat. Guess what? the flesh inside tasted n smell of URINE! I dunno how he knws dats the taste of urine. But for sure it smells so strong of urine. Bacin gile! It was as if it has been marinated in urine! That we had to throw away the rest of the fishes. Pity mum.The fish we bought from msia. Aiyo.. In the end, me n mum fried omelete egg n eat with rice. . . I really wish to fulfill my resolution before or by 20. 1. A Complete one. 2. Continue class. Insya'allah after poly ends. (to equipt myself fully) 3. Complete my lessons. . . As for know, m flooded with projects. Followed by raining presentaions and thundering exams!! Muahahaha. 1000! Hahahaa.. 2000!! Muahahahaa.. 3000!!! Muahahahaa.. Count Dracula from Sesame Street. Muahahaha. K lame. Thats all fer now. May not be updating untill all these are over. Wishing all the best to myself for this last semester in Nanyang Polytechnic. Insya'allah.. All the best to my friends out there completing and competing in your final laps.
+When all else fails, I turn to you+ Monday, January 15, 2007
at 6:39 AMIm stressed. Freaking stressed. Not really abt school. But more about myself. Plus abit here n there. Been quite down lately. No mood. Lost mood. n bad mood. Just felt lyk going out n not coming back. I've always had that in mind whenever i stressed out n cant think properly. Lyk now. Sumone please put a big FULL STOP to this. Whatever. I think i have problems expressing myself. Haiz... Guess i should stop here before i start boring u guys n talking crap again. To u, I miss u loads. You're asleep now & i feel lyk waking u up!! Haha.So bad.. Gd nyt all.
+When all else fails, I turn to you+ Thursday, January 04, 2007
at 4:00 AMWelcome to the New Year of 2007!! Preety excited about it. Many things to look forward to. I hope it would be a better year this time round. 2005 was a rocky year for me. 2006 was also heavy and tight for me initially. Towards the mid and end was not so bad. I can say it much pleasant. With my beloved family, Alhamdulillah.. Slightly improved position.. After 5 or 6 years, since i visited my great grandparents and my relatives in Penang(my mums', mum's side.) It was fun going there. Will upload pics if only i have tym to do so.And if only my Stupid pc, Stupid modem & Stupid internet will be workable again. Urgh! 2006, also has quite a number of occasions and events that happen. Some are memorable, some are not. Its kinda rocky initially. N thank God i could still hold on. .:12.06.06:. .:21.10.06:. Turning 20 this year,its definitely a new beginning of my life. My life and ahead. Leaving behind my 'teens' and into the 'twenties'. Hurhur. So fast so old. The number 20, it just sounds heavy for me. Much more responsiblity probably. Already an adult no longer a kid. Bear that in mind. I don usually set my resolutions for new year. This year, i do have. Maybe i wont list it down. To u, dont know if u'll read it or not, just have to say sumting. Your appearance has lit up my life. Your presence has killed my loneliness. & your love has touched me which i never felt it before. Luv u.. :) Happy New Year all my friends! Love u guys!
+When all else fails, I turn to you+ |
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at 2:06 AM