Hi (:
Welcome to my ranting place
Living a moderate life, but awfully happy & contented
Naturally, life comes with problems, because life without problems, is not a life.
But, FaIrYTaLe.
♥ Iqah a.k.a.

Dutch Lady





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at 7:02 AM

My dearest Azman is being hospitalized. He keeps complaining of having chest pain until his back, everyime he breathe, on Friday nyt, after he came back from camp at Ubin.Yesterday, we were hvg hari raya outing wif my sec.mates & he was wif me. Only after 2 houses, we left & went straight to tan tock seng hospital to do a check up. Coz he was panting wen we walk at a slightly fast pace, complaining abt his chest pain.He din said it everytym,but he would be pressing against his chest & i could see it from his face.So how to do training in camp??

At 6p.m. we reached there.And so this was our 2nd visit there, him doing a check up. We followed all the procedures. The nurse asked if he wants a wheelchair, I looked at him, he looked at me. At first i wanted to laugh at the tot of pushing him on a wheelchair cos he doesnt look THAT physically serious . I guess he wanted to laugh s well when he said ''No need" to the nurse. He was being x-rayed. We waited again for the result. When his name was being called for the third tym, one of the nurses gt him a movable bed and asked him to lie on it. He was reluctant at first but then abide wif it & lie down in his baju kurung. The doctor came out w the x-ray film, showed him n explained to him. I saw it from nearby, a few metres away. I saw his right lung was smaller and out of shape compared to the left one. And so it was confirmed he had a compressed lungs. He still could tell the doctor, "But i need to get back to camp tonyt,".. The doctor said"This is serious,you can still joke abt it? This one confirm u will have to be warded" Thats all I heard & ryt after that, he was being pushed in an emergency room. Before that, I could only see him signaling to me to call his mum. I was blank for a minute. Still cant believe it. The family was informed..They came and we waited there until 10 plus after he was being operated & sent to ward.

Earli in the morning today, i reached there at 9.30.a.m. (Shut up. Dun ask y so earli) Cos im always earli..wahahaha! Stayed there until 7 plus. His brother sent me home along wif his younger bro n his fiancee.
I wish I could stay by ur side throughout..

I hope you will recover fast dear..Cant bear to c u in pain..
And please, stop worrying about other things, ur camp and me. Im perfectly fine & green in health. Its u that im worried for..Just concentrate on ur recovery. Ok syg?

.:The mouth silent. The heart talks:.

I know she is important to u. I know she means the world to u. And i have nuting to blame her. I know I dont have to take it too hard. I can try my best to swallow them up, pretend I dunno or hear them,or whatsoever. But the fact that she meant everything she said,THAT hurts me alot.. It may not be direct.. But its simply easi to understand the meaning behind it. So much things said that even the slightest thing, is hurtful. Tried to hold back all the tears, for u.. Tried to hide away the pain, from u.. I know u could see it in my eyes. & i couldnt lie.. I hold no hopes. Just accepting fate, the Qada' & Qadar of lyf.. I dun want to put in any hopes even though i know deep down inside me, I am. And I know deep down inside u, how much u want everything fixed nicely into pieces.. Insya'allah.. I will only do my best and will accept watever that comes. Even though I cant, i will make myself to accept it.. Insya'allah..

I miss you... Good night..